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Foundering

I LIKE BUNNIES!

Several years after I left my first job in investment banking, I received a call from one of my old bosses.

He jumped right to it: “I don’t know how to ask this, but did you ever add ‘I like robots’ to the Citigroup legal boilerplate?”

He was referring to that dense block of text we pasted into the back of all Citigroup/SSB presentations that covered every conceivable use or misuse of them.

I hesitated. He continued on. “You’re the first person I thought of.”

Of course I was. Despite having a knack for using SUMPRODUCT formulas, practicing totalitarian bureaucracy-friendly graphic design, and displaying an ease with being awake for days at a time that served my career and reputation well, I also acted out more than any twenty three year-old should.

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  • Get to know the FertilizeMe Team ... through enhanced interrogation.

  • What goes up, must come down. What goes down, must turn right.

  • Board members experienced in S&M? It may not mean Sales & Marketing.

  • No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of America's venture capitalists.

  • FertilizeMe's got a P.R. problem and only one tool at their disposal: more bulls#!t.

  • Strips that are short, sweet, with no nutritional value. Just like Peeps.

 

Foundering follows the world's "crappiest" tech startup, FertilizeMe, the leader in on-demand fertilizer fertilizer on-demand. Foundering was created by weary startup veterans Benjamin Dorr and Bryan Keefer.